Wouldn’t you love to know the real secret to loving yourself? (HINT: it’s more than chillin’ in an occasional bubble bath with your favorite glass of wine or cup of tea) What if I told you the secrets behind loving yourself are the same things you practice when you love others well?

Here are some simple things you can start doing today to shower YOU with love:

#1 BE KIND TO YOU!
There will never be too much kindness in this world, so why not start spreading a bit more around…like in your own space! I’ve spent the last thirty years of my life raising my children to be kind to others. Teaching them to choose their words wisely and respect the feeling of others. Kindness uses reaffirming and positive words. Words that build up, not tear down. Have you ever actually stopped to listen to the conversations you have with yourself. If you’re anything like me, and a million other people on the planet, you probably say things to yourself that you would NEVER say to other people. You know those comments that go something like this: ”I’ll never succeed at this because there are so many other people better at this than me” or “this shirt or these pants make me look (fill in the blank)” and so many others. Changing these conversations we have in our own heads to reflect the kinds of words we would share with those we love is one simple way to develop a habit of loving oneself better! So, next time you find yourself slipping in this area use this formula:

S – Stop that stinkin’ thinkin’
T – Take that negative thought captive
O – Obliterate that thought
P – Practice replacing that previous thought with a new reaffirming and positive one

Just developing an awareness of our own self-talk is one simple way to love ourselves better!

#2 LISTEN TO YOURSELF!
If we listen to our bodies we can easily learn what we need more or less of. Train yourself to pay attention to the things your body is trying to communicate with you. Ever heard of the acronym HALT? I’m all about the acronyms today 😉 Just in case you don’t know what I’m talking about, this is what it stands for:

H – Hungry
A – Angry
L – Lonely
T – Tired

When you’re in tune with these four simple body warnings you can head off a downward spiral. Trust me, I’m one of those ‘hangry’ people. It’s definitely not a good thing if Tamara is too hungry! Be prepared and LISTEN for these warnings, which really means know how you’re feeling, and take action when you notice them. Feeling hungry, stop and eat! Angry, determine the root of your anger and address it in a positive manner. Lonely, schedule some time with a friend for coffee or a playdate with another mom and her kiddos. Chances are you know someone else who would enjoy that time out and benefit from it as much as you! And I personally think if we allow ourselves to get too tired, it exasperates some of these other feelings. So if you’re feeling tired, don’t push yourself. You will accomplish so much more AND feel so much better if you allow yourself time to rest!

#3 GIVE YOURSELF GRACE!
Hey friend, news flash! We’re not perfect. I know you already know that, but how often when you make a mistake do you extend grace to you? Maybe you’re a mom or wife who lost her lid when you didn’t mean to (ummm…been there, done that!). Or you realized after talking with a close friend that you send something stupid (guilty!). Next thing you know your beating yourself up for days because you know that wasn’t the right thing to do. Well, guess what…you’re human! Cut yourself a little slack, my friend. Accept that you made a mistake, forgive yourself and move on! Compassion is beautiful and everyone makes mistakes. Dwelling on the past does NOTHING for the future, so learn the art of offering grace to yourself.

Loving yourself takes practice. Start now 🙂